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February 07, 2005
One Day In Cambodia
I had a rough day yesterday. An upsetting alarm woke me at six in the morning to catch a bus at seven after I finally got to sleep at two, much earlier than normal these days. I've been getting plenty of sleep lately, but I've also been living a bit nocturnally. Bangkok is starting to warm up; the days are polluted and humid, so I figure why not sleep through the worst of it and wake up for breakfast at dinner time? Anyway, so I was up at the same time I'm usually saying goodnight waiting for a bus that would take me to Cambodia and back in one day. The bus is late of course, so I grab some Tom Yum Gai and talk with yet another Swede traveling Thailand. She's on her way to Angkor Wat...someday I'll go, but today I'm only crossing the border to get another 30 days in the place I love, Thailand.
After the five hour ride, we spend 1,200 baht and another few hours waiting while some sketchy dudes disappear with everyone's passports. They are apparently getting the visas done for us. On their return, it's back in the bus and a 15 minute ride to the border. My first impression is that Cambodia is a much poorer country than Thailand and everyone has an angle they're working on ignorant tourists like us. From the four year old kids who only have the filthy shirts on their backs, if that much; to the guides who lead us through one checkpoint after another; they all know we have money and want any amount they can get. Two kids with infinite sadness in their eyes and dirt from head to toe carry umbrellas over my head to block the beating sun...I feel like a VIP millionaire in a world that brings tears to my eyes and raises conflicting feelings of guilt and relief about being born into a privileged western world.
Across the border I notice, past the lines of beggars and hard working Cambodians pulling heavily-loaded hand carts filled with imported goods and food, there are a number of massive casinos. Gambling is illegal in Thailand. Like the border between California and Nevada, USA, the contrast between one side and the other is very sharp. The other thing I notice is among the backpackers traveling towards the inside of Cambodia are a number of very well dressed, wealthy looking Thai men and women. There are signs posted stating that gambling is a risky business and the Thai government holds no responsibility to any personal loss of any kind. These upper-class Thai gamblers walk among the diseased, the hungry, the thirsty, the victims of the numerous mines still active in this poor country who are missing arms, legs, the sides of their faces.
Between one checkpoint and a casino I notice a Buddhist monk in the traditional orange robes answer his ringing cellphone as another man passes him a huge wad of cash rather discreetly. I have a lot to learn about the business of being a monk I guess.
Just a bit further, a commotion behind me brings my attention to one kid who looks overwhelmed with joy. He has a small sealed plastic bag of peanuts that someone must have just given him. Within seconds, he's surrounded from every side by other kids, younger and older. The bag is pulled at from every direction like a fresh piece of meat in the middle of a pack of wolves. They bounce and scream down the street past the other beggars, most of whom can't walk, and disappear into the dust and crowds.
This place gives me the chills. I hurry through the checkpoints and after unknowingly paying off the police to cut to the front of one line (really, it was an accident...) I'm on my way back to Thailand. On a bridge over a trash filled puddle, something happens that I never even dreamt about, until now. A little boy with no clothes on, cracked and parched feet, and a tear in his eye reaches up and touches my arm as I walk by. He says "Ao nam, ao nam, ao nam" In Thai it means "I want water." I'll never forget the look of his gaze as it moves from my face to the bottle of water I'm carrying. I can ignore the huge number of kids asking for money, even if it's only "neung baht khap", which means one baht, worth about two and a half pennies, but water is something every human being should have more than enough of. I happily give him the rest of my bottle and wish I had a full one to give.
I now have a fresh stamp in my passport giving me another four weeks of Thailand and a fresh memory of the border-town Aranyaprathet that I'm in no hurry to go back to. After experiencing something like that, I want to cry and laugh about the petty problems and complaints that us "privileged" people make such a big deal about. I also know now that a trip to India or similar highly impoverished place would be too hard on my emotions to bear. On the other hand, someone who always has beautiful things to say told me "What is life for if not to feel?" Too true, momma. Appreciate everything you have, even if it's something so simple and taken for granted as clean drinking water. Don't blind yourself to any aspect of this world we share, be it good or bad. Acknowledge it all, but don't dwell on any of it. Don't worry, be happy.
Posted by Tom Bodhi at February 7, 2005 03:09 AM
Comments
Brodhi. beautifully written. That sounds heart wrenching. your strong dude real strong. (defenitly not physicly) hahahaha ewwwww
Posted by: Anonymous at February 11, 2005 10:54 AM
Bodhi, I love reading what you write bro, you have a way of putting things in prospective, I wish I were there with you.
Posted by: Spence at February 11, 2005 01:25 PM
BodhiI was touched that you thought of me when trying to put such poverty into perspective. It's still not easy to accept. Why is there such suffering in the world? Actually, the quote "what's life for if not to feel?" was a caption on a photo you included with your blog on the tsunami devastation. You really made me think more deeply about everything with that one comment. People need to do what they can to relieve nnecessary suffering in the world, but being human means feeling both joy and pain. Being conscious connects us to all who suffer and celebrate this mortal life. We are truly One.Emma
Posted by: emma cornell at February 21, 2005 12:07 PM
I have tears in my eyes. I'm so proud of you.
Posted by: yoko at March 3, 2005 04:24 PM
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